When Emotional Security Doesn't Build, Children Are Difficult To Open To Their Parents

YOGYAKARTA Emotional security is one of the cornerstones of building a close relationship between children and parents. If emotional security doesn't wake up, children will find it difficult to open up about their feelings for their parents. They may only give a short answer to parents' questions, avoid eye contact, and hide their true feelings.

A sense of security can arise by ensuring that children feel they are being listened to, not judged, and have received support. According to psychotherapist of family and Viviana McGovern's marriage, LMFT. Emotional security is built on small daily moments and not just during important talks.

As explained above, emotional security is the key to the openness of children to their parents. If children are difficult to open, the following sign is:

In addition to the four signs above, Victoria Grinman's psychotherapist, Ph.D., LSCW-R. added. Children will refuse to communicate, ignore their parents, and even lie and less engage with in-depth conversations. Some children may be more obedient, perfectionist, and fun what their parents want. This is done by the child for fear of disappointing you as his parents. When our children act like this, it's natural to be filled with questions and worries.

Specifically, emotional security describes many things. Such as criticisms that are too often so that children feel pressured.

"Children often hold back because they are afraid of their parents' reactions. They may worry about being ignored, punished, or misunderstood. Even a good-meaning response, such as giving advice or trying to fix problems, can make children shut up, especially if that's not what they needed at the time," McGovern's answer was reported by Parents, Wednesday, June 4.

It is also possible for children not to be open about their feelings because they do not have emotional vocabulary to express their feelings.

Grinman recommends complaining about your focus as a parent. Focus inward, meaning changing the way of interacting. Instead of making a scenario so that children are open, it is better to arrange time together in small moments so that your child feels close to you. It is also important for parents to reflect, whether the question is spoken in a calm manner or a question without judgment. Well, awareness of yourself by your own parents, according to Grinman, is also important in the success of raising children.

Second, how to open children about their feelings by making a consistent routine. For example, a routine of chatting before bed. It is also important to make room for your child's feelings without pressing them open. Plus, validation of your child's feelings without judging. In addition, teach about the label of feelings, such as anger, joy, joy, pride, disappointment, and others. Grinman's message, don't be ashamed to admit mistakes if you don't create a safe space for your child to share. Keep in mind, you don't have to do this alone and it's important to ask for help if you're having trouble.