5 Ways To Deal With Selfish Parents According To Islam

YOGYAKARTA - In family life, we often encounter various challenges that test patience and maturity. One of the tests that is quite difficult is when we have parents who tend to be selfish. So how to face parents who are selfish according to Islam?

Independent parents may always want to win on their own, force their will, or don't want to listen to their children's opinions. Even though love and affection persist, dealing with the selfish nature of parents can cause considerable emotional pressure for children.

As Muslims, of course, we must view this issue with an Islamic point of view. Religion provides very wise guidelines in treating parents, even in difficult conditions. Let's understand how to deal with parents who are selfish according to Islam.

The following are the steps or actions you can take to deal with parents who are selfish according to Islamic teachings.

Islam places parents in a very noble position. The order to serve both parents is mentioned repeatedly in the Qur'an, even juxtaposed with orders to worship Allah. In Surah Al-Isra verse 23, Allah forgive him:

"And your God has ordered you not to worship other than Him and you should do good to your mother and father as well as possible. If one of the two or both of them is until they are advanced in your care, then once in a while don't you say to both of them 'ah' words and don't you scream at them and say to them noble words. "

This verse teaches that even if we feel hurt because of our selfish parents' attitude, we are still prohibited from shouting or treating them harshly. On the other hand, we must continue to respect and treat them gently.

Facing selfish parents is a test of patience. In Islam, patience is one of the main keys in dealing with every problem of life. Allah SWT promises a great reward for people who are patient. In Surah Az-Zumar verse 10, Allah bless you:

"Indeed, only the people who are patient will be rewarded without limits."

Being patient does not mean just giving up, but still maintaining morals, controlling emotions, and not repaying evil with evil. The sincerity in dealing with the attitude of parents who are not wise will make us calmer and not easily provoked to retaliate in a bad way.

Islam does not prohibit a child from expressing opinions or consulting his parents, as long as it is done in a polite and respectful manner. If we feel parents are unfair or too selfish, we can convey our feelings in a gentle manner.

Use the right moment, avoid blaming tones, and convey in a smooth language. Examples of approaches that can be used are using stories or parables, or linking them to religious teachings. Sometimes parents are more open if advice is conveyed with a spiritual approach, without being persuasive.

One of the most powerful ways in Islam is to ask for help from Allah. When our hearts feel tired, confused about what to do, and feel unable to change the traits of selfish parents, pray to Allah to soften their hearts. In the Qur'an, prayers for the parents are mentioned in Surah Al-Isra verse 24:

"And lower yourself to both of them with great love and say: 'O my God, love them both as they both taught me when I was little.'"

Sincere prayers from a child can be washed so that the hearts of parents become softer and wiser. Continue to pray even though changes have not been seen, because Allah knows what is the best and the right time.

If the selfish nature of parents has led to actions that violate Shari'a or hurt excessively (emotionally or physically), Islam still provides space to maintain boundaries. We can keep our distance in the sense that we are not too involved in conflict, but still maintain friendship and not cut ties.

Rasulullah SAW said:

'There is no obedience to creatures in maturing with Allah.' (HR. Ahmad)

But it needs to be underlined, maintaining distance does not mean disobedience. We still pray, keep giving a living if we can, and stay good even though it is not too intense in interaction.

Those are some ways to deal with parents who are selfish according to Islam. Stay devoted, be patient, advise with manners, and don't get tired of praying for them. Also read how to melt the hearts of parents.

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