Research Finding, Matching The Love Language Does Not Guarantee Relationship Satisfaction

Illustration of the language of love and relationship satisfaction (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA Relationships are so complicated, said the author Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship...and How to See Past Them. Like the love language category, which is often a reference for suitable romantic relationships, it does not guarantee satisfaction with relationships according to research.

Two people who are committed to a relationship, may have different habits and dominant love language. In the study found that having a love language that is neither suitable nor suitable, has the same level of satisfaction. This means marking that the real love language is so complicated and not the only factor of relationship satisfaction.

Love language, referring to Chapman, there are five ways to express love or known as love language. Namely by giving gifts or surprises, words of affirmation, quality time, act of service, and physical touch. Although you can use it all, you have one dominant style.

According to a recent study quoted by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D. reported by Psychology Today, April 10, the most preferred love language is quality time (40.8 percent), touch (40.0 percent), affirmation words (22.7 percent), act of service or service (13.6 percent), and prizes (4.0 percent).

Love language is actually not as simple as imagined. Although easy to implement, the positive effects have many influencing factors. Two studies conducted by Tatcher and Veale, did not find that the language of love helps or affects relationship satisfaction. In fact, knowing and implementing the language of love helps, but over the next three weeks it doesn't affect the satisfaction of the relationship any greater.

Further research by Pol and Egbert used three approaches to see which love language each couple wanted. The approach includes, among others, fits, mismatches, and partially matches. Couples who receive their choice of love language should easily have the best quality relationship than those that match partially or mismatch at all. But researchers did not find any significant differences in the results of the three approaches above. In other words, the idea that the language of love is not so important for relationships.

Research in 2020 shows that the language of love is partially beneficial. Through samples from 1000 couples in the United States, more than 50 percent reported that their partner used their preferred love language well. They also report greater satisfaction and love in relationships.

Although research shows different conclusions, said Lewandowksi, relationships are complicated. Of the 11 million people who have read Chapman's book on the language of love, simplification should not lead you to get lost in understanding relationships with your partner. The best approach is to learn as much as possible about your relationship and your partner so as to arrange a successful relationship.